Lived in the same house as the perpetrator

A RAPE survivor, a 35-year-old mother of two, said it took her 10 years to report her case to the police.

“I was raped in 2008 by a family member from my mom’s side. I was living in the same house as the perpetrator at the time.

“I only reported the matter in 2018 because I was afraid of what my family would think. I didn’t think anyone would support me. And I was right because everyone turned against me.

“People would laugh at me and whisper behind my back that I had contracted HIV.”

She said the years leading up to reporting the matter were harrowing.

“I contemplated killing myself many times and once made an unsuccessful attempt. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without those memories coming back to me. It was embarrassing to even have to report this and I was just grateful to be reporting to a female police officer.”

The victim, a nurse, said being raped had a big impact on her life.

“A part of me once wished to hurt him in the same manner that he hurt me. I felt dirty because of what he did to me. But I realised that if I gave up, no one else was going to help me in life.

“It’s easy to give up on life once something like this has happened to you but I managed to find the strength to rise above this situation.

“I remember him getting arrested but that was the end of it. He was initially denied bail back when I had a police officer who took my matter seriously but that officer was promoted and had to pass my case on to someone else.

“When the other officer took over the matter, she didn’t seem to have the time nor care to deal with it properly.

“The perpetrator was eventually released and they didn’t even tell me how they concluded this matter. He took advantage of the fact that I came from a poor family. At the time, the people in our community took his side, which hurt me.

“He was veiled by his persona of pretending to care about people. But really, he takes advantage of people. People think he is a religious, God-fearing man but it’s a lie.”

The woman said she wished she received the justice she deserved.

“It was so painful having to relive the experience when I was being grilled in court. I don’t know whether he has even stood in court to be grilled the way I was, even though I was the one that was wronged.

“I really don’t even know how he is walking free because he is still doing this to other people. He was accused of raping and molesting a little girl from his wife’s family. He is a sick man and it frustrates me because he is getting away with it.”

She credits Mandisa Mthembu, a social worker from the Jes Foord Foundation, as one of the people who continued to help her deal with her experience.

She lives with her husband and two children. She said she worried for her children’s safety.